I’m going to speak at DONA International Conference

This is a quickie post to let you know I will be speaking at the DONA International Conference in Cancun, Mexico as a keynote speaker in July 2012. Come to Mexico with us! I’m so excited!!!! Here’s the link to the conference site: http://www.dona.org/Conference2012.php

I’m planning a session on “Secrets to Support a Natural Hospital Birth” and “Regifting the Gift of Birth By Developing Empathy for Hospital Staff.”

Who’s coming???

Help for natural childbirth in a hospital setting!

Reblogged from Only Sometimes Clever:

The more I look into these things, the more I realize what an anomaly my births have been — five births, uninduced, unmedicated, all-natural, all in a hospital setting.  It appears to me that, despite some great attempts to the contrary, the birthing camps are becoming more polarized — the “gimme and epidural NOW” folks in one corner, and the homebirthers in another, and neither the twain shall meet on middle ground. I understand that’s a sweeping generalization.  However, especially as I look into …

Check out these videos! I had no idea they were out there! I haven’t looked at the pdfs, but I’m excited to download them and take a look.

Due.Love’s first baby

This is my little sister, being a grown-up doula! Due.Love’s first baby.

Doulas: Avoiding Burn Out and Keeping the Passion

Dear Doulas,

My sister recently attended her first two births as a professional doula! (See her at https://www.facebook.com/DueLove?sk=wall) I am happy to say she was also MY doula when she was fifteen years old and I was giving birth the first time. AND she attended our niece’s birth when she was only twelve, I think.

It made me remember those wonderful days of beginning down the doula’s path. I was full of passion and fire. I was really jazzed about women’s power. I couldn’t wait to attend LOTS of births. I was ready to be awake all night. I was so ready, in fact, that when my second birth was imminent, I couldn’t sleep for days BEFORE the baby arrived. And that labor turned out to be two days long. Rookie mistake.

I wanted to write to my sister, and all the other beginning doulas out there, to share something I’ve learned over the years to avoid burnout but keep up my passion. I heard it first from my doula instructor Ann Fuller, but it didn’t sink in. Then I heard it from a midwifery teacher, Elizabeth Davis, but it didn’t sink in. Then I learned it from a wise doctor in Russia and she said it just differently enough that it finally sank in.

Ann Fuller said: “When you attend a birth, remember you are not the one giving birth.”

Elizabeth Davis said: “When you attend a birth, remember you are not the one giving birth.”

Still, somehow I managed to feel disappointed, as if I had failed in some way, if my clients did not have what I considered “perfect births.”

Finally, about a year into being a doula, while I was working in a Russian birth hospital, I was lucky enough to hear a Russian doctor say, “It helps me if I assume that the Universe gives every woman and every baby exactly the birth they need to learn the lessons they need to learn in this lifetime.” Wow. That shifted my thinking. She later told a group of Americans who were complaining about the Cesarean rate in the United States (in 2000 it was at 25% and we were complaining. Now it’s at 33%) that she believed that, while the rate was high and we should all do what we can do to lower the rate, she preferred to think of it a different way. She said, “What if most of the souls who need the lessons of a cesarean birth are choosing to be born in America?”

I do not use this rather “spiritual” thinking to justify unnecessary interventions in birth. I use a different part of my brain, a very rational part of my brain, when I am analyzing cultural patterns and medical statistics. When I write and talk about larger cultural patterns, I think it is appropriate and useful to access anger and outrage.

But when we are talking about an individual’s experience, I find that accessing this spiritual, zen-like, accepting mode of thinking helps me. I can focus on learning lessons from the experience, rather than kicking myself for failure. Believing that a woman’s labor went just the right way for her and her baby helps me bring a softness, an acceptance, a respect for what she actually, really experienced. I can honor what really happened instead of focusing on what “should have” happened.

And, best of all, I can work as a doula without carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. I can help women and families. I can rejoice when births go “perfectly,” but I can also rejoice when they go less than “perfectly.” I am better able to focus on the power, strength, and effort of women (and their families) and I am less likely to focus on the negative.

Please do not misunderstand me. I believe that COLLECTIVELY we must focus on improving birth in America. But not at the expense of burning out doulas, midwives, nurses, or doctors. And definitely not at the expense of blaming individual women. If women do not get the birth they truly desire, I automatically blame what surrounds them: a culture that says pain is bad in all forms except perhaps sports, a culture that turns to pharmaceutical solutions far too often (not just in labor), a culture that makes birth sound terrifying and awful, a culture that does not honor the work of women generally (or the family work of men, for that matter).

But accepting each individual birth as perfect just as it is, that is good for my soul.

Thank you for doing the work you do, doulas!

Yours, Big Sister Doula

Vaginal Exams During Labor

I attended  a beautiful birth three days ago at our local, newly-renovated hospital. This second-time mother was amazing. She was so in touch with her body and what she needed to do at each and every moment: walk, sit, lie down, be in the bathtub, eat, drink, lean on her husband, visualizations for intense contractions.

Natural hospital birth requires women to be in charge of their births, and the book I wrote about natural hospital birth focuses on what WOMEN can do to achieve natural hospital birth. I chose to focus on what we CAN do, rather than on the systemic issues that we can’t control as individuals. We really can’t control the hospital staff. So women who desire natural hospital birth have to be ready to work with all different kinds of providers who have all different kinds of ideas about the best way to give birth.

Still, there are certainly ways that hospital staff can support natural hospital birth. And when I encounter hospital staff who really, really support a laboring woman I want to sing their praises everywhere! There were a thousand ways that the nurses and midwives with whom we worked last week supported this natural birth. Here I want to focus on just one of those “little” big things they did. Well, actually that they did not do. After my client was admitted to the hospital from triage, she never had another vaginal examination!

Her waters were intact and she was pronounced five centimeters when we arrived, so I expected that we would have several encounters with hospital staff about vaginal examinations through her labor. Instead, they quietly monitored the baby’s heart rate and the mama’s blood pressure for eight hours and never mentioned a vaginal exam once.

Here are some of the many other ways the staff was supportive: They never turned on the light when they entered the room. (The nurse used a flashlight to find things in cupboards.) They brought us extra pillows, extra towels, and extra hospital gowns when we asked. They pointed us toward the snack room when we were hungry. The midwife brought two glasses of water for the husband and me (the doula) during the most active part of labor, when we were working hard giving back pressure and talking the mama through each and every contraction. They were supportive in so many ways.

But by answering the mother’s questions about how her labor was progressing each and every time with a smile and reassurance that everything looked “great” — instead of saying, “Well, let’s check and find out” — they gave her such a gift of confidence. It makes me want to cry from happiness. It’s such an easy thing to do: suggest a vaginal examination. The vaginal exam, by giving everyone a “number,” appears to answer the question, “How are things going?” But, of course, it does not answer the question at all. If a woman is at seven centimeters, there is no way to know whether she will progress to ten in five minutes or five hours. There is no way to know whether she is feeling strong and capable or weak and defeated.

So often women know intuitively before or during labor that hearing a “number” will interfere with their ability to trust their bodies. (More rarely, but occasionally, some women know that they will be empowered by knowing this number. These women want to have vaginal exams and use this information to help themselves. The key is: Know Thyself!) For most women, though, hearing this cold, hard “fact” speaks to our brains, our rational selves. This is not the self who needs to be in charge of labor. Rational Self needs to step aside and let Intuitive, Body Self be in charge. There are many subtle ways that our Rational Self gets reactivated in labor. Imagine a woman in active labor who is sort of floating on hormones that take her out of normal conversational range. When the hospital shift changes and the new nurse comes on, she might come in and introduce herself and ask questions like, “So are you allergic to any medications?” She just activated the rational mind of the laboring woman! An immediate consequence of even one (much less a few!) rational thought is a lowering of our ability to cope with pain. The brain waves that allow us to be in a meditative, inner state are different from the brain waves that allow us to hold conversations. These brain waves are associated with changes in hormone levels, blood flow to various organs, heart rate, etc.

So, the fact that these nurses and hospital-based midwives were willing to forgo vaginal exams for EIGHT HOURS was a gift beyond measure. This mama got to labor and remained the expert on her labor. Her bodily sensations, her noises, her movements guided how the rest of us acted. We did not ever try to push her to get labor going “more” or “better.” No one had to feel disappointed or worried about how much longer there was to go, based on a number we heard at a particular moment. We all got to focus on a woman in labor. What did she need? What helped her feel the most comfortable?

When the baby arrived, she pushed twice. The baby arrived happy and healthy. I assume she had made it to “ten.”

What was your experience with vaginal exams at hospital births?

 

 

 

Natural Hospital Birth

Reblogged from Project Mommy Brain:

Natural Hospital Birth: The Best of Both Worlds by Cynthia Gabriel is a fantastic resource for women wanting a natural experience, but also the peace of mind of birthing in a hospital with all the technology available in the small chance that anything would go wrong. It is empowering, accessible and smart. Gabriel’s passion for birth is evident and she knows her stuff – it is a great resource for first time birthing mothers because she references so many of the natural birth schools of thought. It is …

I stumbled across two reviews of my book today! Yay!

One is here at projectmommybrain. She JUST reviewed another book called Momma Zen that sounds great and I am ordering from my independent local bookstore Nicola’s.

The other is at http://didyouknow-cecette.blogspot.com/2011/08/natural-hospital-birth-section-one-part.html

where she, amazingly!, devotes four posts to reviewing specific sections of the book. Wow!

I admit that it feels wonderful to read positive reviews of the book that I spent so many years working on. I think I am especially happy to find these amazing words by women I do not know because I received my first pretty bad review at amazon a few weeks ago. I knew it would happen eventually — and I also know that the birth world is full of strong opinions because we are all such unique strong mamas! — but understanding that intellectually and facing my first bad review in reality are two different things. I remain grateful and excited about all the mothers, fathers, doulas, midwives, doctors, and childbirth educators who are expanding the circle of natural birth every day, everywhere.

Oh, that one again! Women’s Pelves are Too Small To Give Birth Because We Walk Upright

A Very Interesting Article.

I ran across this the other day and shook my head. As an anthropologist, I have to answer back! You see, anthropologists (including archaeologists) are humans who are shaped by the culture in which they grow up. So from about 1880-1960, archaeologists and cultural anthropologists from the United States and western Europe happened to notice aspects of so-called “primitive” cultures that confirmed their belief that there has always been a clear and firm gender division of labor. They gathered all kinds of evidence that men “hunt” and do “public” work while women “gather” and do “family” work. (Later anthropologists found that this clear, easy divide was often made up by the anthropologists who somehow failed to see things like men doing lots and lots of gathering because hunts were so few and far between. And, my favorite, is a recent article by an archaeologist who examines body weight and determined that men (fathers and brothers) must have done most of the carrying of toddlers and small children on frequent, long walks.)

These happen to be the same years that homebirth midwives were being pushed out of their profession by medical doctors. Birth was moving more and more into hospitals until, after WWII, there were more hospital births than homebirths in the United States. (The UK and Canada had a slightly different, but similar, history.) Women were increasingly drugged during labor and the rates of cesarean section climbed through the 1900s (and SOARED at the end of the century). Birth was increasingly seen as “dangerous” and “risky.” Hiring medical specialists to intervene in the process was a sign of prosperity and progress.

So it is no wonder that archaeologists (mostly men!) of the time interpreted the fossil record in light of this insight that birth is “risky” for human women. Indeed, human pelves are significantly different in shape from those of our nearest relatives (other apes). This “story” about the trade-off between bipedalism (walking upright on two feet, which ultimately changes the shape of pelvic bones) and giving birth to our young has been the dominant story for a long time.

Luckily, some anthropologists who grew up with feminism have taken a second look at that fossil record.  I love reading the work of Dana Walrath, an anthropologist who studies the evolution of human pelves (the plural of pelvis — cool, eh?). She believes that it has been pure sexism in archaeology and medicine that created this “birth is dangerous because of bipedalism” story (though understandable, given our cultural history). The feminist story is that we human women are amazing creatures who are incredibly highly-evolved to give birth to our babies. She’s got the bones to prove it! Check out her articles such as
1. Walrath D. (2006) Gender, Genes, and the Evolution of Human Birth, in Feminist Anthropology: Past, Present, and Future. PL Geller and MK Stockett (eds.), Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press.
2. Walrath D. (2003) Re-thinking pelvic typologies and the human birth mechanism. Current Anthropology 44(1):5-31.

Activist Student Birth Project

It always feels so awesome to feel like you’ve made a difference in someone’s life. I met Heather Boyd last year as a student in one of my classes at Eastern Michigan University. I always offer “alternative” projects in my classes and in my medical anthropology class that fall I said that students could take a training program in becoming a doula, homeopath, herbalist, etc in lieu of a final paper. Heather took me up on the idea and became a doula that semester. She told her classmates all about the first birth she attended. I think they were all a bit in awe that she was out there, supporting a family at a hospital birth, while they were researching things like ADHD treatment in on-line journals. Last semester, she and two other students helped collect over 200 letters to representatives in support of Michigan midwives. This year, Heather is creating a non-profit “Students For Midwifery” and writing a workbook for teens who are pregnant. Check out her project on RocketHub and consider donating what you can. Twenty-five dollars? Ten? Five? It all adds up to better birth. http://rkthb.co/4703

The Birth Interview Project | Mary’s Natural Birth in a Stable. 2000 Years Ago

The Birth Interview Project | Mary’s Natural Birth in a Stable. 2000 Years Ago.

Whether you are Christian or Muslim, Jewish or atheist, I think you will find something to enjoy in this light-hearted look at natural birth in a stable. Of course there was a midwife at the inn! Isn’t all birth so meaningful and such a beautiful way for us to connect with Whatever Is Larger Than Us in the Universe? I loved this post and hope you will, too!

Sixth in Series: Why Hire a Doula (Reasons that don’t usually make the top ten)

If you are in a committed relationship with the parent of your child, hire a doula so your partner can be scared!

I mean it. Your partner deserves to feel all the emotions that come with labor and that includes the very normal fear that usually arises when we see loved ones in pain. You know the faces of the families of Olympic athletes? While the athlete looks cool as a cucumber, her husband’s face looks drained of color, her father’s eyes are darting nervously here and there, and her mother can only watch through tiny holes she makes between the hands covering her eyes. The family is full of emotion. Does the athlete look to her family members for reassurance that she can really, truly do this? No! She looks at her coach for that reassurance. She looks to her family members for something else: for their love and support. It just wouldn’t be fair to require her family to be calm and collected.

And it’s not fair to ask your partner to be calm and collected during your labor. This is the person who loves you most of all in the world. They deserve to feel all their feelings, including their fear and anxiety and worry, during your labor. It doesn’t mean that those feelings will eclipse all the other feelings they will have in labor. They will also feel excited, elated, proud, inspired. But asking these people to be superhuman, to be able to reassure US while we are in labor even when they may be feeling worried themselves, is asking them to suppress their own experience so that we can have a better one. I think it is more loving to acknowledge that you are in this together and the TWO OF YOU need support.

Of course there is a role for partners, a very important role. These wonderful people can say, “I love you” during labor and it is like magic. When my husband said those little words I swear the contractions melted away. I felt buoyed for a few seconds in the ocean of LaborLand. 

But my husband was scared when I was in labor. What he offered me in labor and what my doula offered me in labor were completely different. When I got scared in labor and asked questions like, “How much longer will this go on?” or “Is this normal?” I did not turn to my husband. He has never seen another birth, so if he answered those questions, frankly, I wouldn’t believe him. But my doula I believed. When she said, “You’re safe. Everything is going perfectly,” I could let go of my fear and hold tight to my husband’s hand. 

My husband and I rode our roller coaster of emotions through labor and birth. For him, as well as me, there were moments of sheer terror. As a doula, I often say things like, “You’re safe” at a birth and I know that I am speaking to a couple, not just a laboring woman.