Reason #1: A doula can relieve your partner in a long labor. Sometimes the tasks required of a partner during a labor can be impossible without backup support from a doula. A labor that lasts through several mealtimes or all your normal sleeping hours can wipe out not only mom-to-be, but her support team, too. Doulas can allow partners to take 20-minute naps (or in really long labors, two or three hour naps) and visit the bathroom without being worried about leaving you alone. I once played back-up doula for a long labor in which the first-line doula AND the father needed relief. They had been supporting the mom-to-be for almost 36 hours straight and neither the doula nor the dad had slept for more than about 30 minutes. I came in the middle of the night for a four-hour relief stretch. I barely knew this couple, but I slipped into the dark room and quickly learned how to give back pressure the way this laboring mother needed. Her doula and partner went to the lounge to sleep. Mom and I worked together without saying much, just in the rhythm of labor. She was handling her contractions well; she was just exhausted. She, too, slept in between sensations. At dawn, the doula and father returned and I said good-bye. The doula and father agreed to take one-hour shifts after that so that they didn’t burn out. The baby was born, healthy and beautiful, about six hours later.
As a post script to this story, I ran into this woman two years later and found out that she had become a doula herself. She said she was so amazed at the support the two of us had given her and her husband that she wanted to give that gift to other families. She gushed about how incredulous she was that I had come in the middle of the night to offer relief to her support team. It was nice to hear, but it was also easy to say, “That’s what doulas do!”
BTW: here’s a link to a “10 Reasons To Hire a Doula” article by Ann Douglas. They are all good reasons. Excellent reasons. But I am going to try to write down the “other” reasons here in this series. The reasons that it’s GREAT to have a doula, but that most people don’t think about until after the fact (or, often, until it’s too late!): http://www.ohbabymagazine.com/prenatal/why-doulas-are-a-moms-best-friend/